i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
