lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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