Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
