Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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