you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
