You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
