It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
