he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
