I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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