Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If that was your dad, he is hot
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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