i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want nice things and good sex
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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