everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
