how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
