I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
