ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
