The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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