I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
