he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
