i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
