it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
