sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This is my gift to your gina
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
