Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
