Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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