i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
