he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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