Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
