Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
