you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
