they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
