we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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