2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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