Sponge bath it is.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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