He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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