well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
worst night to have a conscience
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
