Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
