i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
