Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
