At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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