Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
