We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
