You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
