No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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