Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you win again, gameday.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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