so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
