so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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