so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
