Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
