I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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