Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
