i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
