Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
tell me about the eggs
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