i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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