Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
two words: eviction party
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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