I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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